It’s February. We are over a month into the new year. I’ve been adrift this last couple of weeks, holding on to my life boat while being tossed around at sea. Now I’m feeling land under my feet again and I need to publicly recommit to a few things.
1. Writing. I am in awe of those who blog daily often and blog well. Not just a few words or a photo (those are challenging enough) but well thought out, coherent, lovely posts that make me want to stop, sit and ponder. I am smart enough to know that is completely out of my realm right now, but I don’t want to let my blog slip-slide into the corner with the dust-bunnies and dirty laundry. One of my intentions for 2010 is to write daily by the end of the year (although I’m sure much of it won’t be fit for human consumption). In the spirit of being gentle with myself, I am letting go of “should’s” and committing to two blog posts weekly.
2. Finding the lightness. My spirit has been heavy the last couple of weeks. With good reason, if I were looking for reasons, which I’m not. There’s a phrase on the Vision Board I created at the beginning of the year: Suffering is Optional. While allowing myself to be fully present in whatever situation and emotion I find myself in, I recommit to letting go and finding the beauty in each breath.
3. My marriage. This actually has a lot to do with #2. There is nothing wrong with my marriage that more sleep, some couple time and a little lightness won’t fix. I’ve noticed myself feeling annoyed lately and when that happens, I know it’s more about me than my husband. He hasn’t changed but how I’m reacting to him has. It means I’m taking myself too seriously and not asking for what I want. We are so busy parenting, growing businesses, growing ourselves, that I feel the “us-ness” has slipped out of balance. Like the squeaky hinge on our bedroom door, it’s an easy fix. I just need to give it (and him) a little attention.
4. My daily meditation. I have only missed one day since the beginning of the year but my meditations this last week weren’t very satisfying. While acknowledging that the challenges were real – I was in a hotel room with a toddler who was up way past her bedtime most nights – I take responsibility for my willingness to let my priorities come last. This is a growth area for me (to put it mildly) so I am wrapping myself in the arms of forgiveness, letting go and moving on.
I dropped my intentions for 2010 into the pond of my life and the ripples have been dancing outward in the most beautiful way. I appreciate the space to look back, to re-evaluate, to re-commit. What about you? What do you need to (re)commit to?